Without realizing it, many of the habits that make a person an effective leader are also the ones making it harder for them to benefit from the support systems already around them.
Research suggests that one of the greatest risks of leadership isn’t always the workload; it’s never truly stepping out of the role. Organizational psychologist Sabine Sonnentag found that when people cannot mentally switch off from work, they recover less effectively, experience greater emotional exhaustion, and are more vulnerable to burnout.
So we see that these beneficial traits, incredibly useful during a crisis, helping leaders stay calm, make good decisions, and remain dependable when others need them most, can quietly create an unintentional distance between them and their support system. Always staying calm becomes holding feelings in, self-reliance becomes isolation, and strength becomes silence, until it all ends up causing burnout, emotional exhaustion, and psychological strain.
Many leaders already have people who care deeply about them: friends who would gladly listen, parents, siblings, spouses, or children who simply want them to share life’s burdens instead of carrying everything alone. But despite the support they have, they are very unfamiliar with the idea of allowing themselves to recline, even if for a moment, on the support they do have.
Over time, unconsciously, leaders may believe that utilizing the relief that comes from momentarily letting themselves go and being vulnerable with their people is either unnecessary or a sign that they aren’t as capable as they should be. But this mindset isn’t healthy for a leader’s well-being nor is it sustainable for leadership.
Sometimes the healthiest and most logical thing a leader can do is allow themselves to receive support. That may mean telling your partner, “This has been a difficult week”; calling a trusted friend instead of carrying another burden alone; or being fully present with your children instead of mentally replaying tomorrow’s meeting.
So, as a leader, give yourself permission to lean on your support system and focus on rest. This is not a retreat from leadership. It is part of what makes leadership sustainable.
Rest. Receive support. Recover.
